Friday, November 23, 2007

Taxidermy Phobia

When I was a little girl I always sat between my Mom and Grandma during our church service. This was before "children's church" which means everyone went to Sunday school and then adults as well as children attended the church service together. Misbehaving was never an option as every Mother in that church could give "a look of death" that was capable of curing the worst case of the fidgets. I don't know if it was like this in everybody's church but in ours we sat in the same pew every Sunday, you would have thought we had assigned seating. We always sat behind the town veterinarian's wife who wore a hat with a red bird on the brim and a fox stole. Remember those? The fox's mouth is a clip that fastens to the tail and it is draped over your shoulders. I was scared to death of that thing. It had sharp little teeth, pointy ears, claws on his feet and shiny eyes that I swear blinked when adults weren't watching. That fur piece scared me so bad it even appeared in my nightmares. Well, one Sunday I am sitting between my Mom and Grandma and during a hymn one of the glass eyes fell out and bounced across the floor. Good grief...scared the living tar out of me and was proof that thing really was alive. So, if you are planning on buying me a Christmas gift...please don't get it from the taxidermist.