Monday, November 30, 2009

Me and my mouth.

I really didn't mean to embarrass myself or the poor businessman behind me in the security line in Charlotte. It all started very innocently and I had no intention of discussing anyone's undergarments and certainly not the undergarments of a perfect stranger. In retrospect it was not my fault and I know the chances of TSA taking any of the blame is slim to none but I do feel better letting them know that they need to share some responsibility. I mean really...one person tried one time to hide a match in his shoe so from this day forward EVERY person going through any airport must do so barefooted?? OK, here is what happened. The nice businessman and I were chatting in the security line while waiting our turn talking about how full the flights have been, why do we travel on the busiest weekend of the year...you know, stranger chat. I made it through first and was trying to bend over and tie my tennis shoes without passing out from lack of oxygen when I became aware of a disturbance. Nothing major but the poor businessman's carry on bag had tipped over and his possessions were scattered on the belt and and moving quickly beyond his reach. Did I just finish tying my shoes and let TSA handle the scattered items? OH nooooo...not me! I grabbed a book and a hair bursh before they hit the floor and here is where it becomes a little dicey. He thanked me and started to walk away when I noticed he had forgotten several items at the bottom of his gray bin and this is what I said. "Oh wait Sir...you forgot your unnerwares!" Unnerwares?? I said unnerwares to a perfect stranger?? Don't you just know that little gem was shared at his Thanksgiving table and here is a big thank you to TSA for not making us wear nametags. Lawz a mercy, unnerwares?? Arrg!

My Kindle Marketing Plan

I have come to the conclusion that Amazon needs me...bad. I bought a Kindle2 earlier this year and don't plan to buy a DTB (dead tree book) ever again. Yeah well, we won't go into the list of my previous declarations but I do love my K2. I discovered early on that if I am out in public all I have to do is open my K2 and all of a sudden I am everybody's newest bestest friend which is great unless you really want to read or your doctor is more interested in discussing the Kindle than why your cholesterol won't go down no matter how much flippin' oatmeal you eat or miles you walk. The conversation usually goes like this: "I hate to bother you...BUT is that a Kindle?" "Do you like it?" "Do you miss the feel of a book?" You can tell they are just dying to get their hands on my Kindle and see how it works soooo once again I do Amazon's work for them and sell another Kindle2. Have I received even a thank you note from Amazon? Noooooo! Not even a phone call on my birthday. OK, here is my plan. All I have to do is buy another K2. I will leave it in the original packaging and use mine as a demo which I do already so no biggie. I figure by the time I finish my sales pitch and my newest bestest friend is in a K2 purchase frenzy I can whip out the new K2 and sell it right there on the spot. I was on four flights over the Thanksgiving holiday and seriously...I could have sold at least two K2's. Well, I have to go now as I just know Jeff Bezo's is trying to reach me.