Friday, February 25, 2011

My oldest daughter is a rat fink.

I just returned from visiting Polly and family in Montana and discovered she sent the email below to a few hundred of my closest friends. I refuse to confirm or deny the charges but I will say the side meat really hit the spot.

OK!! I have asked Mother what time does she leave Great Falls at least 4 times in the past week. Not that I want her to leave but because I am trying desperately to keep all my ducks in a row, which any of you that know me,,,,know that can be challenging. Anyway each time I asked her she replies with 4:00. We even commented on the fact how unusual that was, she usually leaves on a morning flight so she can get home earlier so she doesn't have her dear friends at the airport in the wee hours of the morning. WELL, I had to do some work this morning at the office and I thought no big deal I will work for a couple of hours and then go home spend the rest of the afternoon with mom and take her to the airport. I had two kids at home this morning, Sarah who really is sick and napped most of the morning and Matthew who just wanted a free pass since Grandma was here, therefore played "sick", I chose to buy into it. :) I breeze in the door about 11:50 and had this craving for sidemeat, so I get it out of the freezer and set up the frying pan and start dredging sidemeat to fry and mom comes in,,,,,,still in her pj's, hair running amuck and sits down to visit. She says to me, "Hey I have this neat APP on my phone, it automatically pops up with all the flight information for the airports you fly in and out of." She has it on Great Falls airport and sure enough it has all the departing flights listed and what gate they go out of. I replied with, "Wow, that's pretty neat...................what time did you say you fly out?" Janice replies, "4 o'clock", Polly replies, "umm Janice there isn't a 4 o'clock flight.", Janice replies, "O, it might be 4:10 or 4:30, something like that." Polly replies, "Janice there isn't a flight at 4:00 period." Janice then decides to go get her itinerary out of her suitcase, which is not only not packed but looks like it exploded in Sarah's room. Mind you Mom is usually a very neat person at my house, not sure why the suitcase exploded, just thought you would like to know. :) Janice comes back into the kitchen with her itinerary folded and she is looking at it and says, "See right here I leave at 4:07." And then it happens,,,,,, that look,,,,you know the look,,, the one you get when you first realize, " I forgot to pick the kids up at school and I am now 20 minutes late and my little munchkins are sitting on the side of curb sobbing because their mother forgot them,,, look!" I look down at her "folded" itinerary,,,,,,and to Janice's horror she just discovered she leaves out of Denver at 4:07, however once she flipped the "folded itinerary" over she would see that she actually flies out of Great Falls at 1:26. WELL! At this point I am frying a pan of sidemeat, she is still in her pj's, hair running amuck, hasn't brushed her teeth and her suitcase is exploded in Sarah's room and it is 12:26!! OK Great Falls isn't exactly a booming city, we can still make it right!!?? I yell at Grandma to get her pants on, do something with that hair, pack her suitcase and brush those teeth, in the meantime I will finish frying the sidemeat,,,,,,,,,what? We have to eat don't we!! She throws everything together, kisses the kids, grabs a few pieces of sidemeat and out the door we go!! We get to the airport at 12:47, a little frazzled but in time to check her in and get her thru security. We have said our goodbyes and as I am turning to leave I hear her explain to the Security Guard, "I would have been here sooner if my daughter hadn't been late getting me here." GOTTA LOVE HER!


Tuesday, February 8, 2011

If you are going to live in my dumpster...

there are rules. First of all there will be no slithering or slinking as slithering and slinking make me think you are trying to sneak up on me and run up my pants leg. All movement must be made with purpose but not rushed because rushed makes me think you are running towards me and your main goal is to run up my pants leg. If you have a tail I would prefer that it have hair as hair on the tail means you are a possible pet but no hair on the tail means you are a rodent who with no warning will run up my pants leg. Do you see a theme here? Since moving to the South many years ago I made peace with the fact that I would have to become accustomed to sharing "my space" with new animals that we didn't have when I was growing up in in the big city of Kingman, Indiana. The only animals we had were raccoons, possums, skunks and an occasional black snake. Have you ever seen a skink? Bleeeah....they are a lizard but look and move like a snake. Their favorite habitat is under my pool chair or between me and the mailbox. I still don't know what was in the dumpster the other night. All I know for sure is it was about the size of a possum and squeals when it is scared. Hmmm, that might have been me who squealed. I was definitely the one who wet her pants.