Monday, November 24, 2008

General Obersations

Guess I should clarify a statement I made in my last post about having fun with the grandchildren in spite of their mothers. Don't get me wrong, I ADORE the mothers...they are my daughters and I can't think of two people who I enjoy more except they sometimes put a crimp in the fun factor. It used to be me who was the "joy stealer" but that wand has been passed down to them and man oh man, when they say it's time to brush your teeth your butt best be in the bathroom puttin'the Crest on the toothbrush. Let's just say Grandma is a little loosey goosey with the rules when the moms aren't around.
Teeth brushing reminds me of the time when Polly asked 11 year old Sarah (who was 4 at the time) if she had brushed her teeth. Sarah replied, "Ummm......are you going to check?" I am not a bettin' woman but I am willing to bet my last dollar that yes, her mama did check.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008


Three of the six grandchildren (and their mothers, bummer) were here last week and I learned several things. First of all I did not know my condo was infested with bears with the emphasis on was. Matthew loves all things that seem to fascinate five year old boys like the TV show Worlds Dirtiest Jobs, bugs, power tools and hunting. Especially hunting. We had dinner at The Dixie Stampede and of course on the way out you have to exit through the gift shop which meant we HAD to buy a new gun because apparently umpteen toy guns are just not enough. I got up the next morning (translation:I stumbled from the bedroom to the kitchen) and just as I started to set my cup of coffee on the coffee table Matthew bellowed from the next room, "Grandma! Be careful...there's a dead bear on that table and I just put another one in the dining room." My fearless bear hunter stands all of 3 ft tall and was wearing teeny tiny boxer shorts, cowboy hat, boots and of course his trusty six shooters. To my credit I hardly flinched and put my coffee on the end table instead of the "dead bear repository". We had a great visit (in spite of their mothers) and I can safely say, thanks to Matthew , I am absolutely 100% positive that there is not one single bear in my condo.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Smert Children

Our family is so proud! After generations of under achievers we finally have a child in the talented and gifted program. It might have been a scoring fluke but we don't care...we're in baby! I was telling Eddie how proud I am of Avery, what a bright child she is, how well she reads and how Cameron is coming up right behind her. I went on and on (grandmas are allowed) about how smart Cameron is, how well he is doing in kindergarten and he will probably be in the talented and gifted program too when Eddie jerked me back to reality with, "MOM...give it up. Cameron is adorable and I love him but he eats paper." That's OK Cameron, hold your head may be one of us but your sister managed to overcome that handicap and that means there is a chance for you too.

Monday, November 17, 2008

5 Stupid Things I do In The Kitchen

My friend Tenn at tagged me for this post and I suspect my children put her up to this because my kitchen blunders are not exactly secrets. Make sure you take the time to go read Tenn's blog as her recipes are excellent and she is a wonderful writer. Oh Lord...I have to limit this to 5?? OK, here goes nothin'.

1. Forget to serve a dish. I have lost count of the times I have forgotten to serve a dish that I prepared ahead of time for a big meal. Sometimes it's deviled eggs or slaw and one memorable dinner it was the rolls but the blare of the smoke detector served as a good reminder for that one. Oh the rolls were not edible but at least the family knew I made the effort. Sort of like that one Christmas present I always forget I have hidden on the top shelf of the closet that gets recycled to a birthday which is pretty sucky if the gift is a sweater and your birthday is in July.

2. Saving gravy and vegetables for soup. Great plan..right? Sure is if you remember to take them out of the freezer and actually put them in the soup. It would probably be better for all concerned if I would just throw the leftovers out to begin with and save myself the aggravation of finding all those little baggies with three peas and a tablespoon of gravy when I clean out the freezer.

3. Not completely closing the silverware drawer. Let's just say I probably have the CLEANEST silverware drawer in the Southeast due to washing everything in there including the tray on a regular basis because some idiot (did I mention that I live alone?) left the drawer partly open and spilled flour, sugar or one very memorable entire Diet Cherry Coke.

4. Salad Dressings. How long do you keep salad dressing? I swear I have a bottle of Russian dressing that I bought when Carter was president. It still smells like the day I bought it and since I don't like Russian dressing and think it tastes like horse sweat when it's do you know when it's bad??

5. Lost potatoes. I keep potatoes in a lower cabinet and invariably one will fall out of the bag and roll out of sight until it becomes painfully obvious to anyone within 5 miles that there is something very very wrong in that cabinet.

Tagbacks to:
Susie- Notes From The Prairie.
Sammy- Grammy Sammy.
Almostgotit-How to (almost) get the job.
and of course anyone else who would like to play along!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Early Morning TV

Sometimes I wake up at 4 AM and it's too early to get up and I can't go back to sleep so I pick up the trusty TV remote. There is an exercise show that comes on at that time and the lady on there just cracks me up. She is in her late 50's early 60's and is so thin her leotard actually bags in the seat. OK, that is funny enough but she sounds just like Elmer Fudd and says things like, "Dood morning friends today we are going to wift our wegs rilly rilly high." I may have to start setting my alarm for 4 AM. Naaaaa, but I can record her and I bet she's just as funny at 7 PM as she is at 4 AM. Heck, I may even exercise with her... just as soon as I find a leotard that bags in the seat.

Monday, November 10, 2008

The other side of the coin.

For someone who is sporting such a short haircut I sure have spent a lot of time thinking about hair the last few days. Fortunately I have thick hair that grows fast so I do recover quickly but those first couple of weeks can be brutal. How long do you keep your hairbrushes? I don't know if this is admirable or just plain sick but I have had my round yellow hair brush which is my favorite brush EVER since 1984. Nope, that is not a hairbrush is 24 years old and YES it has been washed. Once in the 90's. Oh that's not true I wash it a couple of times a month. Right after I brush the cat. Oh that's not true either. Well, the washing part is but not the cat part. Am I the only person who develops weird attachments to their possessions?

Sunday, November 9, 2008

I don't get it.

Would somebody please explain to me what it is about my head that seems to scream lesbian golfer to any hairdresser who cuts my hair?? Number one..I am not a golfer. Wait a minute, I guess number one should be I'm not a lesbian but I'm also not a golfer. I have gone to the $50 a cut places (it pained me but I did it) as well as the $10 chop shops and there is no difference in the end result. Every single time I come out looking like I'm on the way to a big torunament with three of my closest girl friends.