The Life Of Lolly

Wow, just when you think your life is the pits let me tell you about Lolly. First of all Lolly's real name has been changed because she is a relative and I want to protect her privacy. Lolly and family live in, ummmm.....Idaho. Yep, that's it...they live in Idaho. Lolly has four children, a husband named Coney, two dogs (Duke and Lojack) and a cat (Lester) who has multiple personalties. The childrens names are Glory, Tate, Clara and Bartholomew. A husband, four active children and three pets are enough to keep anyone busy but Lolly and Coney have their own business and for the past three years Lolly has been in charge of the office in Idaho. For quite some time now one of their employees in another state has had issues with the truth and work ethics. Lolly had enough and told the lazy non-truth teller that he would be much happier working someplace else. WELL...the next thing Coney knows Lolly has his behind on a plane and he's on his way to take over the job site where the lazy non-truth teller had just exited. Coney is less than thrilled and Lolly isn't real happy either because Glory has a basketball game (Lolly is also the basketball coach), Tate has a pottery class, Clara is sick and Bartholomew is....well, four and very busy. After several favors being called in Lolly, Glory and Bartholomew are at the basketball game, Tate is at her pottery class and Clara is on the couch at a friends house. The game finally ends, Lolly gathers all the children and they head for home which is a 30 minute drive from school. Lolly ALMOST gets dinner on the table when the phone rings and it's the security company saying the fire alarm is going off at the office and the fire department has been dispatched. Lolly said a very bad word, put Glory in charge of finishing dinner and headed back to the office. Of course she calls Coney on her way and Coney's main concern is that Lolly tells the firemen to please try to save his hunting mounts, his newly restored Chevelle from the 70's and....oh yeah, the safe. Lolly came sliding into the office parking lot and hmmm, no smoke or flames. WONDERFUL! However, there are lots of firemen inside the building so Lolly opens the office door but before she can step inside, a wall of water washes over the threshhold and into her shoes. OH....that's not good. Sometime during the afternoon a water pipe burst and filled a 3,000 square foot office with 4 inches of water which set off the fire alarm. Stay tuned for further updates on the Life of Lolly.

Are women ever satisfied?

I have a very comfortable place to live, nice furniture, everything I need and most of what I want but every once in awhile I just have to change it up. The bedroom furniture has never been my favorite and I had planned to replace the headboard since I bought the set 7 years ago. Well, I did that this week. HEY...I never said I was in a big hurry to replace it, I just said that I was going to find a different one. The new headboard was a real "steal" and I do mean steal. That's a long story that could involve my incarceration so we will just skip right over that one and move on to the dining room table. I have always wanted a round glass top dining table that seats 8. My current table is a glass rectangle that seats 6 comfortably and 8 if you don't mind asking the person next to you to cut up your meat because it's so crowded that your arms are pinned to your side. I was looking online at dining room tables and OH MY GOSH I found my dining room table in the round version on CLEARANCE! The glass top it comes with is not big enough for 8 but I can sell that one and replace it with one that is larger. Since it's the same table my chairs even match! Soooo....I ordered the table and last night I measured to see what size glass top I need. GULP...all the online sites reccomended a 60 inch diameter top to seat eight. I measured with the tape measure and it wasn't looking good but just to make sure I borrowed yarn from Rosemary and laid it out on the floor. Ok...here's the deal. If I put a 60 inch round table in the dining room I will have to crawl under it to get to the kitchen. Well, that's not good. Here's the other thing...have you ever priced a 60 inch piece of glass?? HOLY MOLY, the glass cost FOUR times more than the new table and it is so heavy I have visions of me and 7 friends ending up in my downstairs neighbors dining room. OK, I do a little more checking and I discover that a 54 inch square will also work for 8. The 6 additional inches makes enough difference that I can siddle past the table rather than crawl underneath. When I am laying out the yarn it also dawns on me that my dining room rug is a rectangle. Arrrrrrg.....FINE. I have now ordered a square rug to go with my square table that I have to siddle by to get to the kitchen. My round dining room table that was on clearance for less than $200 is now square and has cost me right at $1,000.Next time I want to change things up all you have to do is say, "Remember the ROUND dining room table???"

Polly is a big ole whiner.

Polly called this afternoon demanding a retraction about the day she rear ended her sister and wrecked my new car. This is her argument...it was raining and her sister was stopped in the middle of the road. OK....MAYBE YOU WERE DRIVING TOO FAST ON A WET ROAD AND YOUR SISTER WAS STOPPED BECAUSE THE CAR IN FRONT OF HER WAS STOPPED! I have to say I was surprised to receive your call as I thought it was very kind of me not to mention that you were driving barefooted, not wearing a seatbelt, didn't have your drivers license with you and I also seem to remember that you were holding Casey (the poodle that you just had to have) and driving with one hand. Hmmm, don't you have a daughter who is very close to getting a drivers license? What's it worth to you if she never reads this story? How about this idea, Polly..you submit your version of what happened and everybody can vote on who they think is more accurate. If you win the vote Tory never reads this entry but if I win I get to read it to her!

Happy Birthday Eddie!

OH GOOD LORD....my baby is 37 years old today! Arrrrrrg! How the heck did that happen??? In my mind she is still 6 years old with a gap tooth smile and cute as a $2.00 bug. The gap tooth smile is gone but she is still cute as a $2.00 bug and she will always be my baby.

Should Teenagers be allowed to drive? Uhhh...I vote no.

During their high school years both girls had the tough job of lifeguarding at the local country club. I'm not real sure how you can use sitting on a tall white chair, tanning and whistle twirling on your college application but I'm sure they both found a creative way to make it sound impressive. One Friday afternoon Dave and I were in the basement working on finishing an apartment for my Mother (oh boy, that's another story) when Eddie came in from work and yelled down the stairs, "I'm going to the bank to cash my check...be right back!" OK, fine..be careful. Two minutes later Polly yelled down the stairs, "I'm going to the bank to cash my check...be right back." OK, fine...be careful. About 5 minutes after they left the phone rang and it was Eddie who was in tears. "Mom..Polly and I have had a wreck and the policeman says we need you and Dad here right away." "Polly and I aren't hurt but can you hurry?" Of course we went flying out the door and were almost to the scene of the accident when Dave turned to me and said, "Jan...they are in the same car, right?" "Well, of course they are! They were both going to the bank at the same time, they wouldn't take two cars." Well...ha ha! Eddie was driving her car (affectionally known as Little Grey) and Polly had decided to take MY new Oldsmobile as it had gas and hers didn't. Eddie had stopped to allow the car in front of her to make a left turn when Polly came flying over the hill (again, in my new car) and rear ended her. When we arrived a pretty good crowd had gathered and the policeman was standing by Little Grey filling out the paperwork. He asked for the owner of "Little Grey" to step forward. Dave supplied the insurance and contact information for "Little Grey" and the policeman moved to the car Polly was driving. The policeman said, "I need the owner of this car to step forward." Again Dave moved to that car and the policeman said, "I am finished with your car sir, I need the owner of this vehicle." Rather gruffly Dave told him he was the owner of both cars. The policeman said, "Sisters?" Dave said yes and the policeman burst out laughing. He then tore up the tickets, patted Dave on the shoulder and told him to hang in there because they do eventually grow up and leave home.

Fair is Fair

Now it's Eddie's turn. Eddie was an excellent student and never caused any problems at school except when it came to talking...oh my gosh, she talked to everybody all the time. I don't think she ever brought one report card home that didn't say "Talks Too Much". It was always tempting to write DUH next to that statement before I signed the card and sent it back to the teacher. I was the Assistant Registrar at their high school so I had the privilege of seeing their friends and teachers everyday. During Eddie's Freshman year her English teacher's husband was transferred at midterm and the school corporation hired a first time, right out of college, diploma not even framed yet replacement. The poor thing was clueless. Their classroom happened to be right down the hall from my office and Miss Cline was in there at least once a day, usually crying. About two weeks into the semester Eddie was talking to her friend when she should have been listening and Miss Cline, in an attempt to shut Eddie up, called on her to answer a question and read a passage in their book. When Eddie answered the question and then read the correct passage Miss Cline fell apart, picked up her purse and ran crying out of the classroom. She stopped in my office doorway and shouted, "They aren't supposed to be able answer the questions correctly if they never pay attention!" Miss Cline got into her car and never returned. Last we heard she was selling real estate in Arkansas.

Looking back...

I received a nice note from an old friend which was followed by a long telephone visit and we we caught up with each others lives. She reminded me of many funny things that happened when our kids were growing up so of course I MUST share them here. In my mind I can see Polly and Eddie throwing up their hands and saying, "OH GOOD LORD....now what." Polly was 16 and we were living in Clinton, IN. She and her friend Mika wanted to "cruise" downtown (all 4 blocks) one summer evening and we told them that was fine but DO NOT leave the city limits and be home by 11. "Yes Dad, we will, we'll be careful...see you at 11!" Well....in their defense they were home by 11. Dave and I had a peaceful evening sitting out on the deck watching the deer come up to drink from the lake, a glass of wine...very pleasant. About 10'0clock we came inside to watch the news just like we did every other night and turned on the TV. The news was being telecast from the county fair (35 miles away) and the reporter said, "What a perfect night to be out and about. Let's see what these two pretty young ladies have to say about this years fair." Yep, Polly and Mika in living color right in our living room. Like Dave used to say, "Jan, I don't know what upsets me the most... that they do these things or that they are soooo stupid."