Salesman Repellant

Why is it when I go shopping I either have a sales clerk following me around like they think I'm trying to stuff a DVD player down my pants, sorry...but that space happens to already be occupied by my ample rear end and believe me, there tain't anymore room. Or the other end of the spectrum is sometimes I really need a sales clerk and I could do a tap dance on the cash register and still nobody shows up to help. Anyway, my friend Sharon and I have found the cure for the overbearing sales clerk that is guaranteed to work at any TV or appliance store. All you have to do is walk in with a Consumer Reports tucked under your arm and you will be all alone for HOURS. Apparently there is a secret signal that goes off anytime two women come through the front door of an appliance store carrying a Consumer Reports and every salesman suddenly is called to the back room...sort of like a signal from the bat cave. When we first walked in the door of Appliance World there must have been 6 salesmen scattered around the store in various stages of relaxation. They were talking and laughing while leaning on stoves, kicked back in office chairs watching a game on TV and of course the eager (eager = works on straight commission) ones who greet you at the door. My hand to God...all I did was lay the Consumer Report on a counter, open the magazine to the item I was interested in and every salesman evaporated into thin air never to be seen or heard from again. However, I did learn something very important. Not only can you shop online for a new TV (in your jammies or even nekid if you want to) the delivery man even hooks up your cable if you can manage to look helpless enough. Not a problem for this old gal...I am becoming more helpless each day.