Only MY family, I am so proud.

Matthew turned five this week. Doesn't seem possible and I am no math wizard but if you subtract 2003 from 2008 the answer is five. Matthew's birthday request was baby chickens and that is exactly what he received, two yellow and two red chicks. Of course he also received numerous other goodies that are near and dear to a five your old boys heart but the baby chickens were the highlight. Polly's family flies by the seat of their pants and it works for them...drives Eddie and I bananas but it works for them. Well...after a very stressful few months with school, sports and work Tony reserved a beautiful house in Nevada for the family to spend a week and DO NOTHING but read, watch a movie or two, enjoy the pool and each other. Hmmm....baby chickens. Teeny, tiny, needy baby chickens. Sooooo...Polly and Tony loaded all four kids PLUS four baby chickens (along with their sun lamp, food, water, day cage AND night cage..for the chickens not the kids) into the Suburban and took off for the 12 hour drive to Nevada. The baby chickens are very good travelers unless they get cold and then they do what baby chickens do best. Well, maybe what baby chickens do second best but there was some serious peeping going on until the heat is turned on full blast. Have you ever ridden 12 hours with four kids crammed into one bench seat because the back two seating areas are like a sauna? Rumor is, it was a real fun trip. I think the entire family arrived wearing nothing but their underwear but the good news is the baby chickens arrived healthy, happy and are LOVING Nevada!

EUROPEAN TAVERN

We had dinner this evening at the best restaurant we've tried in a long time. Myrtle Beach has lots of great places to eat but this one has to be moved to the top of your list. There were seven of us and we all tried something different. The schnitzel was my favorite but everything our table ordered from the potato pancakes to the apple strudel (and the crepes..OH MY GOD, the crepes) was wonderful! Each dish was prepared and served beautifully and when they heard us congratulate Sid and Deb on their anniversary they brought out a HUGE plate of their homemade crepes for the table to share. We like to go to places where we can linger and talk and The European Tavern is a great choice for that type of evening. I know that for a fact as we were were there for almost three hours. I'm not much of a drinker but they are VERY generous with the alcohol in their drinks and I hear their Crown & Coke is the best in town. If you don't believe me...jush ast Frankie.

My latest faux paus.

TommyB's family is in town and I invited everyone over for dinner this evening so I got up early and put a pot roast and potatoes in the slow cooker and made a salad. When I finally got to work I looked down at my hands on the keyboard and lo and behold I ONLY HAD NINE FINGERNAILS. Oh GREAT! Isn't that just wonderful, I have left a pastel pink fingernail in the pot roast or the salad. Now what...do I mention it ahead of time? Naaa, what good would that do, just make everybody uncomfortable. Do I take the salad apart? Ummm, maybe....the pot roast? Uh no....not unless I manage to grow a pair of asbestos hands. Isn't this just gym dandy? Well...I have 7 people coming for dinner and one of them could very easily find a pink fingernail in their pot roast. Oh well, hope they have a sense of humor.

The tabletop is here!

Remember Steve Martin in the movie THE JERK? When I typed the above title Steve Martin and that movie popped into my demented little mind. Steve was running through streets wearing nothing but a ratty bathrobe and his underpants while screaming, "The phone book is here!" The phone book is here!" That is how I feel about my table top, but I am wearing sweatpants and sitting in my recliner. I wonder why the smallest projects become EVENTS when I am involved. What is the big deal about changing your dining room table?? Well....honey, it sure ain't as easy as it sounds. First you have to move the 1/2 ton rectangular glass table top you already have which is no small feat and don't forget to price the new square top BEFORE you make this change. I had to decide if I wanted a new table top or a five carat diamond tooth stud. The tooth stud and the table top were the same price so you can understand my dilemma. OH...and don't forget that because the new top is square the rectangle rug will just NOT do. Fast forward to Saturday...new square rug is in place, new table base is in place, rug is centered under light fixture and all systems are go. Sooo... I'm running from window to window watching for the delivery truck to arrive with my new table top. FINALLY! Two men carry the large box in, unpack the glass, clean it, give it a final polish and then center it on the table base. They gather all the packing material and as they are exiting I can hardly wait to sit at the new table with all eight chairs in place and silently congratulate myself on a job well done. Hmmmm, how odd. Have I shrunk? Beautiful new rug, lovely new square table...too bad the DAMN CHAIRS ARE TOO SHORT. NO, I'm not kidding. The only good news is all my friends who are over age 50 have a great place to rest their sagging chest.

The PediEgg

You all know how much I LOVE the AS SEEN ON TV merchandise..I mean come on folks, they have some goood stuff! Well, I was at Walgreens buying hair color (for a friend) and happened to walk by a PediEgg display. Well honey, I turned around so fast I left skid marks right there on Walgreens shiny tile floor. I had seen the PediEgg advertised on TV (DUH) and I knew it was tough enough to peel an orange so maybe there really was hope for my Fred Flintstone feet. Of course I bought one and could hardly wait to get home and give it a try. I got myself all propped up in the recliner and put my absolutely 100% guaranteed feet so smooth you will never snag another knee high again PediEgg together. The first thing I noticed was the scraper part is made of METAL. Not only is it made of metal it looks very much like a mini-cheese grater. Hmm, let me get this straight...I snap the cheese grater into the plastic handle and then I rub the metal cheese grater on my feet? What? No sulphuric acid to smooth out any remaining rough edges?? Well OK, these people are professionals and know what they are doing so here goes nothing. For those of you who are pondering the purchase of a PediEgg I have a couple of suggestions and you are probably wondering if the PediEgg actually works. Do they work? Oh yes, they work very well. However, the little instruction folder neglected to mention that if you remove every callous and piece of thick skin on your feet you are basically bedridden because your feet are too sensitive to do anything except rest on a velvet pillow while you lay in bed and watch trashy movies on Lifetime TV for the next three weeks. Like I said... I LOVE the PediEgg and please pass the remote.

I LOVE my friends!

I LOVE my friends and had to share an email I received this weekend from a good friend of mine (also a co-worker) who was out of the country on a business trip. The company we work for picks wonderful exotic locations for meetings but there always seems to be an issue of some sort and this time it was A HOLE IN THE PLANE. Granted, it wasn't a big hole but it was a hole none the less. Everyone had already checked out of the 5 star resort and unfortunately they were completely booked for the weekend. However, the desk clerk told my friends about the lovely little place directly across the street and I will let you read the rest of the story below.

Just for fun- it is 6:00 AM, I have had ninety minutes of sleep. The resort that we found last night was an "ethnic"resort. When I went to the lobby this morning, every seat and couch was full with people sleeping, making out or just doing it. The room next to mine had a ''booty party'' all night. They went to sleep around 3:30 AM so just out of spite I got my computer out (I just happened to bring my stereo speakers) and cranked up some Nickelback and pointed the speakers at the wall. The cab driver came to pick up all five of us and our luggage in a ford fiesta. We get to the airport where we have now purchased a new set of tickets and have spent three thousand dollars to do it. The ass at the counter (this entire island is full of nothing but assholes) yells at us because his flight is over booked because of us and tells us that we will probably be bumped. I'd had my fill of rude people at this point and had a word of prayer with him. I'm sure my luggage is now going to Iceland. I am having so much fun.

My friends are so entertaining I am seriously considering canceling HBO.

I'm FREE..and only semi sick!

No parties, no site visits... a totally free weekend! My sore throat and headache are gone but I'm not sure poor ole Morty can say the same. It was beautiful here today with temps in the mid 70's and sunny so I had all the windows and both sliding doors open...fresh air! With both sliding doors open Morty and Ginglebelle turned this place into a race track. Down the hall, out the living room door, across the screened porch, in the bedroom, across the bed, back to the living room, down the hall...well, you get the picture. About 7 this evening I was on the phone with a friend and noticed it was getting a bit cool in here so I closed the sliding door in my bedroon. About 30 seconds later I heard thundering paws coming through the living room and just as I realized what was about to happen I looked at the bedroom sliding door just in time to see poor ole Mort slam face first into the glass door. I didn't laugh until I picked him up and made sure he was OK. Really I didn't, I promise. Well, not much. Sure hope cats don't hold a grudge.