Left nut..right hand? Right nut..left hand?

Not real sure what the proper protocol is for the whole nut in hand theory but that is my plan. Tomorrow is the day I have the muscle receptor test where L O N G needles will be inserted into various muscles and my job is to let my doctor know when I feel pain...sooo, I figure if I am holding one of his nuts in one of my hands he will know the instant I feel any pain.
What a weekend, three family reunions and one wedding. Everything went very well and of course we had the usual late arrivals. You would think we would be prepared for that by now but noooo, we react the same way each and everytime a group is late. I don't know what it is about the South but promptness and turn signals are optional.

WARNING! POSSIBLY (PROBABLY) OFFENSIVE!

I have a new quest in life. I plan to cash in my Roth and 401k and purchase a mirror for every "touron" who enters the Myrtle Beach city limits. I am buying them all mirrors because I know there is no way they own one or they wouldn't leave the house looking like a homeless circus performer. GET A CLUE FOLKS! In the interest of good taste I have taken the liberty of listing a few subtle suggestions:

1. If your weight is higher than a decent bowling score then a tube top is probably not a good choice.

2. If your boobs are capable of flying up and swatting you (or the person standing next to you) in the face, wear a bra! Please!

3. I KNOW you had a really smokin' body in the 90's but honey it's now 2007 and you have had four kids. Lose the short shorts and wear a shirt that will cover your c-section scar along with your stretch marks.

4. The mullet is gone! Dead! Go see a barber who was born in this century and get a decent haircut. While you are out and about replace that Nascar wife beater t-shirt with one that doesn't show your back hair.

5. Since when did it become chic to show your pregnant belly? If you know me then you know for a fact that I'm not a prude but I have to tell you it makes me very uncomfortable seeing a basketball size tummy with the belly button sticking out like the "done button" on a Butterball turkey.

Whew, I feel much better now.

Where did everybody go?

It is TOO quiet! I know they have been here because I had to use the leaf blower to clear a path to my bedroom but it was waaay too quiet when I got home. Morty and Ginglebelle are sacked out on the couch, probably thrilled to be able to sleep out in the open without someone trying to dress them in doll clothes.
I had a meeting at 8:30 this morning and a party this evening so I didn't get home until about 9. Anny and I played a couple of games of euchre online but I wore out pretty early....and we lost both games, big time. Neither one of us had any good cards. The one good hand I had I didn't get to play and I don't think Anny ever had a card better than a queen. I read two pages in my book and apparently fell asleep because I woke up around Midnight with the lights still on and the book on my face but I was two pages further than when I started. At this rate I should finish sometime before Matthew and Cameron graduate from high school.
Tomorrow will be a long day as there is a banquet at Noon and another one at 6 PM. I could go home between the two events but I have work I need to get done so I will stay and finish. The traffic is so heavy this time of year it's not always easy to get from one place to the other. We also have a wedding on Sunday afternoon so this weekend is a triple play for work.
Eddie, Avery & Cameron dropped Polly and Matthew off at the Charlotte airport this morning and Polly & Matthew made it back to MT late this evening. Always glad to hear everyone has arrived home safely. Tony, Tory, Katy & Sarah are still in OK so Matthew has his mommy all to himself for a few more days. Polly plans to take Matthew to the state fair tomorrow and go to church on Sunday. Mike has to work Saturday and I don't know what Eddie and the kids have planned but as hot as it has been I bet they spend at least part of the afternoon in the pool.
It was so nice to have Polly & Eddie here....our visit was just too short.

A day at the beach

Polly, Eddie and the kids spent the morning at the beach while I finished a few projects at work. After lunch we met at Tanger Mall to check out the outlet shopping and everybody got a start on their school clothes. I found a store that is perfect for all the girls in our family...Justice. They cater to the "tweens" and have the styles that are hard to find when you aren't a teenager yet but not a little girl. I will have to keep that store in mind when it's time to send a "LOVE FROM GRANDMA" package. Tory wears NOTHING feminine or pastel, Katy likes comfy and soft...then we have Sarah and Avery. Sarah likes hats, ruffles, ribbons, shoes, jewelry...anything shiny. Avery is very opinionated about her wardrobe and I very seldom choose something for her unless she is with me to vote yea or nay. Avery has also been known to vote nay in the car on the way home after she has given you a resounding yea in the store. Then there are Cameron and Matthew. Don't care about anything else that goes on their bodies but Spiderman underwear is a current favorite. We had dinner at Bonefish Grill on the way home from the mall. Polly almost broke her tooth in half when she bit into an olive that still had the pit. She had very carefully eaten the first two olives that had no pits and unfortunately when she chomped down on the third one, there it was...big as life. We had appetizers, salads and a cup of soup and had more than enough to share. The kids had the best macaroni and cheese I have ever eaten. I'm not a big mac & cheese fan but oh my...this was delicious. Eddie had Bang Bang Shrimp, Pol had a bowl of soup and I had the Calamari. We had those plates flying around the table like a Ringling Brothers Circus act. Lib, Merideth, Landon and Tyler stopped over to visit for awhile just before the kids went to bed. We had a very nice visit and Landon is a little doll. So happy and smiles all the time. He's almost 6 months old and wanted to catch Morty & Ginglebelle so badly but just wasn't quite fast enough. The kids were so tired it took a bit longer than usual for them to settle in and fall asleep. Just as Avery was falling asleep Morty jumped up on her bed, curled up beside her and she thought that was just the BEST. Everyone is heading home tomorrow and I'm not ready to see them go. We have had a wonderful visit...just way too short.

I'm old AND tired.

Busy day today at work and home. Polly, Matthew and I had lunch at Margaritaville and then Polly and Matthew shopped while I came back to catch up on some work. Eddie, Avery and Cameron arrived shortly after lunch and met Polly at Broadway At The Beach. They did a little more shopping and then stopped by the aquarium for the children to pet the stingrays. It was one of those SC sweltering hot days so we walked down to The Creamery and had ice cream cones before heading back to my house. None of us felt very ambitious and decided to order pizza and pronounce it dinner. Between the three kids Morty and Ginglebelle's feet have not touched the floor in almost 24 hrs. Ginglebelle has spent most of the evening trying to find new hiding places and Morty gives me pleading HELP ME looks as he goes whizzing by in a small childs arms. We have discovered that Morty is very resilient.

A day at HOME

It was a bacon and eggs for breakfast, a load or two of laundry, play a game, read a story and bake two cakes kinda day. In other words...A GREAT DAY! We didn't leave the house at all and Matthew didn't get out of his pajamas until dinner time. If we hadn't invited people over for dinner he probably wouldn't have gotten dressed at all. Kim, her mother (Alice), Cameron and Tom joined us for pork loin and potatoes this evening. I baked two pork loins (same size) side by side and one of them was delicious and moist and the other one bore a definite resemblance to sawdust. Guess I am more of a Betty Crackpot than a Betty Crocker. Of course the angel food cake and rum cake were hits. After dinner we walked back to Kim's and the boys had a great time playing while Kim, Polly, Tom and I played Wii. Polly, Matthew and I walked home and Matthew found a tree frog on the steps. Before Polly and I could even speak Matthew picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. If we hadn't seen it happen one of us would have had a real surprise when we did laundry! I swear little boys are a hoot.

I been everywhere man..oh yeah, I been everywhere.

Maybe not everywhere but it sure feels like I have been on a marathon trip. It all started when Polly called me at 10:30 PM on Saturday night to let me know there was a change in our plans and could I come up to Benson, NC to pick her up on Sunday morning instead of her driving to Myrtle Beach. Of course I can. Oh...did I mention our final destination on Sunday was Edisto Beach? So I left Myrtle Beach at 7 AM and arrived in Benson, NC about 10 AM. Polly and I visited with Naomi for about an hour and then we headed to Edisto Beach, SC. In case you don't have a map handy...we passed Myrtle Beach (second time that day for me) at about 2 PM. Poor Matthew was about to starve to death so we made a flying loop through a McDonalds and snagged a box of Chicken McNuggets with ranch dressing. I was sitting in the second seat with Matthew and we put his chicken nuggets and ranch dip on the middle fold down seat. Matthew was saying the blessing when Mario "Polly" Andretti hit the gas and sent the nuggets and ranch flying into the third seat in the van. Sooo, Matthew and I gathered up the nuggets, scraped up the ranch dressing and had lunch. HEY...sometimes you have to make sacrifices on road trips. By the time we got to Charleston we decided we had been in the car long enough and it was time for a break. We parked at the Visitors Center and walked down to the old slave market...hot, oh my goodness was it hot. We took the horse and carriage history tour and saw all the beautiful antebellum homes along The Battery and enjoyed the breeze coming off the ocean. Well, two of us did, Matthew slept the entire time. We continued our journey on to Edisto Beach and arrived about 7 PM. We arrived just in time to have dinner with Barb, Rich, Jerry, Janie, Sue, John, and Janie's daughter Kirsty. The condo they are renting for the week is very nice and has a pool right outside the front door. Barb, Rich, Polly, Matthew and I shared a room and Matthew thought that was the greatest thing EVER! He loves Rich and Banana Barb. We read a few stories and then Matthew wanted to sing Old McDonald before we went to sleep. We would all sing the Old McDonald verse and take turns naming the animals. Poor Richard was eliminated because he repeated the same animal....not once but twice. Matthew was very disappointed in Richard's performance and it showed in his voice when he told Richard that he couldn't play anymore. Richard was quite hurt because he didn't know there were rules for Old McDonald. Matthew fell asleep with one hand in his mothers hair and his other hand in mine. He was a happy boy.
We spent the morning playing at the pool and Barb brought us ham sandwiches with her homemade mustard and of course salt & vinegar chips. After lunch Polly and I thanked our hosts for their gracious hospitality and headed back to Myrtle Beach. Polly was driving and we came through one of the worst rain storms I've ever been in. We would drive out of it and then it would catch us again. Matthew was so tired from swimming that he slept all four hours coming home. About the time we hit the edge of Myrtle Beach Matthew sat up and said, "I want schetti." Polly and I decided that sounded good to us too so we ate at Villa Mare. Matthew had his schetti while Pol and I had the best lasagna that I've put in my mouth. The garlic bread was also very good. We stopped for milk at the grocery store and finally got back to my house about
7 PM. Morty and Ginglebelle were so glad to see us! Matthew played with them until we went to bed. Polly was laying on the couch watching TV and Ginglebelle jumped up to lay beside her. Well, Morty The Psycho couldn't stand that and he bristled up, ran across the room and ran Ginglebelle away from Polly. Morty didn't want up there but that doesn't mean he wanted Ginglebelle up there either. That was the first time Polly thumped "poor Morty" on the head. Matthew and I slept great but Morty moved his indoor play ground to the guest room. Apparently Polly didn't sleep as well as Matthew and I. Personally I think Polly is just a big old tattletale AND a whiner.