Telethon

Anybody have Betty White or Tippi Hedron's phone number? I know Jerry Lewis is the TV telethoner of all time but he doesn't strike me as an animal lover and I figure I will have better luck with Tippi or Betty. Ginglebelle has been sneezing this past week and she finally convinced me that she really is sick. I took her to the vet and after blood work, x'rays, 2 IV's, oral antibiotics and 3 injections (that I am to give her at home) her vet bill was uncomfortably close to $800.00. GULP....that's almost two tanks of gas. OK, just kidding about the price of gas but that doesn't mean I'm laughing. Not only did Ginglebelle get to go to the vet but I had to come home and bring Morty in so he could get a shot because Ginglebelle is contagious. Personally, I suspect the vet has a boat payment due or perhaps she is counting on Ginglebelle to finance her families trip to Spain. In spite of all evidence to the contrary Morty does have a kind side. Yeah, yeah, yeah....I know and you will have to take my word as I have no visual proof. The vet told me to make Gingles a bed close to her food, water and litter box so when we finally got home I fixed her a pallet close to all of her kitty necessities and she instantly went to sleep. Don't feel bad, I thought the same thing but when I held a mirror under her nose it fogged so she really was just sleeping. Ole Mortman curled up next to Gingles and he fell asleep too . They were so cute all curled up together and he even put his little paw on her arm, if cats had arms. Of course when he woke up an hour or so later he used her as a short cut to to get to the food dish but at least we are making progress.

PediEgg Update

Let me tell you what ladies and gentlemen...the 8th wonder of the world is now available at your local department or drug store. If you read my first entry about the PediEgg you will remember I not only took all of the old skin off of my feet but I also managed to remove new skin and I think I saw bone on my left foot. After that educational experience I have learned to use the PediEgg properly (moderation is the key) and I plan to never ever be without one again! In fact I may buy extras. One to keep in the car and maybe one for my desk drawer. What? Grooming your feet at work is wrong? Well....maybe where you work it's wrong but at my place of employment it would considered high class. You have to remember that our company motto is "NOT ONLY IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT TOLERATED IT IS ENCOURAGED". So with all that sexual harassment going on I really don't think anybody would find a little "foot filin' offensive.

Dofus

Sometimes I'm such a dofus. I've always wondered if you have more than one dofus in a group...should the group be referred to as dofusses or should it be dofi? Anyway, I was shopping at CVS the other day and saw a new shampoo and conditioner that I had never tried, imagine that. In my quest for beauty I would have sworn I had tried every shampoo and conditioner on the market especially since I have been bleaching my hair for the past 39 years...no exaggeration. Heck, I figure L'oreal will be calling me anyday and make me their poster child. That is the least they can do since I have probably paid to put the entire board of directors children through Harvard. Soooo....anyway, I throw the shampoo and conditioner in my basket and head to the checkout with my 60 watt light bulb, shampoo and conditioner. The cashier and I are chatting and my total pops up on the little debit/credit gizmo. $62.48.....uhhhhhh, has to be a mistake. I laugh and say, "Wow...look at the total! That must be some REALLY expensive shampoo!" The cashier says, "Yep, when I was pricing it today I wondered what idiot would pay that much for shampoo."

Love me some fried chicken.

Once or twice a month I fry a chicken breast, make real mashed potatoes and a itty bitty bowl of milk gravy. That meal has to be my favorite and if I'm ever on death row that will be the last meal I request along with a seedless watermelon and maybe a Dairy Queen Reece's Peanut Butter Cup Blizzard. Oh yeah, definitely a Reece's Peanut Butter Cup Blizzard. Heck, if I'm on death row the size of my butt should be the least of my worries.

Debi & The Ferry

Does that title just sound like the sweetest story EVER??? Well, if you are looking for a sweet story I suggest you move on down the line because the only thing sweet about this story is the homemade cheesecake that enters the picture a bit further down the page. Funny yes, sweet no. Let's start at the beginning. Debi, Princess and I were having lunch before taking Debi to catch the 12:30 ferry back to THE REAL WORLD. Debi and I ordered our lunch but of course Princess had a SPECIAL order which means Debi and I had finished before Princess's lunch even arrived. I looked at the time and said, "If we leave right now, Debi can still catch the 12:30 ferry." Just as those words were out of my mouth Princess's freshly prepared by angels hands lunch arrived. I suggested that I take Debi to the ferry and then come back to get Princess but Princess was having no part of that plan. It seems Princess is not comfortable eating alone and proceeded to dispatch us (her semi-loyal servants) to buy her a newspaper (so she would have something to do), refresh her soft drink and oh yes...more napkins. Debi and I finish our chores and go tearing out of the parking lot (yes, I had my drivers license in my pocket) to the ferry. We arrive at the ferry landing and the lady at the ticket window says oh yes, we are in plenty of time for the next ferry and when we admire the cheesecake she is eating she went to the back and brought us each a piece homemade cheesecake topped with fresh strawberries. Wow...how nice is THAT! We are both stuffed to the gills and as good as the cheesecake looks there is no way we can eat it now and the idea of juggling luggage and a plate of cheesecake on the ferry is less than appealing so Debi suggested I take her cheesecake back for Princess. It's now 12:20, the ferry leaves at 12:30 and we both figure Princess has been alone about as long as she can tolerate so I gave Debi a hug and headed back to attend to Princess. About halfway back to retrieve Princess the sky opens up and it begins to thunder, lightning and pour buckets of rain for the next three hours. Princess and I go back to the house, get our books, afghans and prepare to read and nap the rest of the rainy afternoon. About 4pm Princess and I woke up and while still all warm & cozy with our afghans across our laps we flipped on Oprah and took our first bite of the BEST cheesecake ever tasted by mankind. It was right about then that my cell phone rang. It was Debi. She had just gotten to her car. She was also cold, soaking wet and more than a little pissy. Hmmm, if the ferry left at 12:30, Debi should have been in her car no later than 1:10 and back in Myrtle Beach by 2:30. Wellllll.....it seems there is no 12:30 ferry this time of year nor is there a 1:30 or 2:30 but there is one at 3:30! You are probably asking yourself why Debi didn't call us on my cell phone while she was waiting for three hours in the pouring down rain. There is a very good reason for that as her cell phone died that morning in the middle of making a call to check on lunch selections for Princess and Debi had left her charger in the car. She could have used the phone in the nice cheesecake sharing ferry lady's booth to call us on the house phone except she didn't remember the address of where we were staying or the name of the people who own the house. Debi did ask the nice cheesecake sharing ferry lady why the 12:30, 1:30 and 2:30 departures were still showing on the schedule when clearly no ferries were in sight. The nice cheesecake sharing ferry lady smiled real big and said, "Well, EVERYBODY knows this time of year we don't go by that schedule."

P.S. Princess said the cheesecake was excellent. Love ya Deb!

Fleeing From Justice

Well, we didn't EXACTLY flee as it's not easy to flee from the scene of a crime in a golf cart plus there wasn't really a crime. After breakfast Princess and I were out tooling around in the golf cart (Bald Head Island doesn't allow cars) and I might add we were minding our own business and for once we truly were not bothering anybody. Anyway, just as we came up to the ONLY major intersection on the entire island we saw a road block, of sorts. There were 2 golf carts, with flashing blue lights blocking the intersection. WOW! There were probably a total of 47 people on the entire island and we were going to get to watch somebody get taken DOWN! Not quite. The very polite policeman (who appeared to be all of 12, with a concave chest, little round shoulders and trying very very hard to grow a moustache...we could have snapped him like a pretzel) asked to see my drivers license. OH GREAT, when we left the house I had jammed enough cash for breakfast in my pocket but didn't pick up my drivers license. In a high quivering voice the very polite policeman reminded me that it was North Carolina law for the operators of golf carts to be a minimum of 16 years old and to have a drivers license in their possession. Princess and I are both trying very hard to keep a straight face because good Lord, who gets stopped by a made by Fisher-Price policeman on a deserted island.....uhhhh, us. So at that point Princess piped up and said, "Wow....good thing you had that 16th birthday yesterday." OK....my 16th birthday was in 1966 and I am thinking this is it, 12 years old or not our butts are on the way to jail and every shred of any dignity I ever had was gone. Fortunately the 12 year old policeman had a sense of humor and after one glance he KNEW my 16th birthday had been at least 35 years before he was born. We think he also figured out that he wanted NOTHING to do with us and in fact he seemed very happy to see us drive away. Imagine that.

Ever traveled with a PRINCESS??

Oh man oh man oh man...let me tell you how you know you are with a PRINCESS. This is a brief synopsis of our first evening. Two of us are downstairs (already dressed, ready to go) and PRINCESS is still in her room...doing only God knows what. Sooo it was about this time that the big restaurant debate begins and it goes a lot like this. We said, "Hey Princess...where would you like to go for dinner?" and Princess says, "Sigh...oh I don't care, you girls pick." Sounds simple...right? Yeah well, so we say, "How about the River Pilot House...they have these GREAT pork chops. " Princess announces, "I don't like pork chops." Sooo we point out that they also have steak or chicken and Princess announces that she wants lobster and filet. FINE....we will go to The Club and have surf and turf. Princess says, "The Club? Don't you have to dress up to go there?" We tell Princess no, but you can't wear shorts and t-shirts." It was at this point Princess announces that she doesn't want to change but what other restaurants are here. We remind Princess that we are on an ISLAND, a very small island and there are not a lot of choices. Princess wants to know if they have pizza and when we tell her yes they do have pizza but she wants to have it delivered and this time of year you have to have your order in by six to have pizza delivered. So we get in the golf cart and go to the pizza place. THE PIZZA PLACE HAS ALREADY CLOSED. Soooo....Princess then announces that we can take her to the grocery store where she will buy a frozen pizza, then we can take her back at the house and the "rest of us" can go out to dinner. Well...the "rest of us" look at each other and say, "Uhhh....no." We hauled our whiney, high maintenance Princess to the River Pilot House where the "rest of us" ordered the pork chops while Princess pouted and ordered a salad (plus made the waitress recite 32 different dressings before choosing Ranch) and She Crab Soup. The salad was OK, the soup was OK but of course not nearly as good as The Sea Captains House. WELL.....DUH, SHE CRAB SOUP HAS BEEN THE SPECIALITY AT THE SEA CAPTAIN'S HOUSE FOR 50 FLIPPIN' YEARS! We were raving about our pork chops, the fresh spinach and the mashed potatoes...OH MY GOD THE POTATOES when Princess announces she would like to try a bite of my pork chop. OK...I cut a nice chunk of pork chop for Princess to try and this is what Princess had to say, "OH this is really good, I wish I had ordered the pork chop." The loud thumping you heard was the "rest of us" pounding our heads against the wall.