Politics..pfffffft

Hillary, Obama and Edwards are debating at The Palace Theatre this evening and we assisted with the security clearance for the audience. One little old lady smacked me with her purse when I reminded her that the Secret Service had limited purse size to 6 inches by 6 inches. She told me her lipstick was in there and she was not walking out to her car...harumph. My hand to God, that purse was only slightly smaller than a shopping bag. Well...someone a lot taller and bigger than I am stepped up and told her the purse needed to be locked in her car or she would not be allowed to attend the debate. She smacked me a good one too. You will be proud to know that I did NOT say, "Nanner nanner nanner!"

Mort is Miffed

Morty has attached himself to me and made it very clear he does not like to be left behind. Ginglebelle could give a hearty high ho as long as the food bowl is full. If I sit down, Morty is on my lap. If I am walking he is under my feet and last night he slept on my neck. OK Mort, I get it...you like me at home. That's ok buddy, I like to be home too.

OH MAN...vacation is over!

We went from 85 and sunny to 40 and blowing rain. Holy Moly Martha...bring me my long underwear! I was so glad we packed yesterday afternoon as I don't think there is anything more depressing than going back to your cabin the last night and packing to go home. After breakfast we went through customs and THE DIRTY DOZEN headed back to Myrtle Beach. Everybody was talking about going home, unpacking and taking a nap except for TommyB and I. Some idiot booked a wedding for this evening so we have to work. If I wasn't the idiot who booked the wedding I would be REALLY ticked!

Last Day At Sea

Well, I have one person not speaking to me. I told Debi about this great tanning lotion I bought last year in Cozumel so she bought a bottle while we were there. Debi is olive skinned and we had spent the last 5 days in the sun...who knew she would burn? Well...ha ha, guess what? Debi has a dandy burn and apparently she didn't put the lotion on evenly because her burn is rather...uhhh, striped. Chris and I didn't laugh too much. OK, we did but we tried to do it when Debi wasn't around. Debi, I PROMISE, I really didn't think you would burn. Well , John and Jennifer won the award for "Most Disgusting Breakfast Topic". The 12 of us ate breakfast at different times and places and if you ate in the main dining room the hostess always asks if you would like to share a table. When the hostess asked if they would like to share a table Jen said yes before John could say no and it went downhill from there. There were 8 people at their table and everyone but John and Jen had a recent surgery or procedure to discuss. Colonoscopy's, knee or hip replacement and cataract surgery are always popular topics but John and Jen hit the jackpot. There was a lady at their table who had recent surgery for her plantars wart and apparently the wart was coming back. She very generously offered to show John and Jen the wart but they politely declined. OH...that wasn't the only award! Mark & Donna received the Short Bus Award for fitting in with our group so well. Sid was awarded the Disco Turtle for his dancing display at Studio 52 and the crew is still talking about THAT night. Doug received the coveted Blackjack Lucky Bitch award and the race was tight but after three tied votes it was decided that TommyB earned the FART PANTIES award. No explanation necessary. Everybody is bummed this evening. We are all "sort of" ready to go home but we have had such a good time we aren't ready for it to end yet. Oh well, guess it's time to put our big girl panties on and go back to the real world. Do we have to???

Key West

Rum Runners, Sunset in Mallory Square, chickens everywhere AND Irish Kevin's! Hmmm, must be Key West. We docked shortly after 4pm and after a brief visit with Customs we were on our way to see the sites. We were hungry (we hadn't eaten in almost 2 hrs!) and stopped at a sidewalk cafe for drinks and sandwiches. We apparently ain't the brightest bunch of people on two feet. Brian and Chris ordered the same sandwich except Brian asked for extra spicy and Chris asked for mild. The sandwiches arrived but after one bite Chris's eyes were streaming tears and Brian was complaining his sandwich was hardly spicy at all. I'm too embarrassed to tell you how long it took to occur to us that hmmm, perhaps the sandwiches were switched? After passing the sandwiches to their rightful owners and a glass of milk for Chris we paid our bill and headed out to find the bar where Doug, Chris, TommyB and I had such a good time last year. You haven't lived until you see TommyB in a Viking Hat leading the crowd in football cheers. Oh yes, he was a vision to behold. It didn't take us long to find Irish Kevin's and before the evening was over Sid and Debi had joined us as well. The entertainer/singer was a hoot and decided to pick on our TommyB. Ole TommyB was sitting with his arms folded across his chest and out of the blue the entertainer said, "Will ya look at that guy in the blue shirt? He's twisting his own nipples!" So now TommyB is known as THE DOUBLE BREASTED NIPPLE TWISTER. We had a great time and were not ready for the evening to end. The big excitement for the day was watching the stragglers running as fast as they could run to get back to the ship before they were left behind. OH DARN....left behind in Key West! Bummer! You can check out the action at Irish Kevin's on their web cams at http://www.irishkevins.com/ .

Elvis was in Cozumel!

I LOVE Cozumel! Affordable shopping, a pier instead of a tender, great food and reasonable prices. We all went shopping and I ventured out on my own for the afternoon. When Barb and I were here last February we came across a great little family restaurant that made the best guacamole...EVER. I managed to find the restaurant on the first try and spent two hours sipping Margarita's, reading my book and enjoying the chips and guacamole. After returning to the ship, I spent the rest of the afternoon on the sun deck reading followed by a 3 hour nap! A few of THE DIRTY DOZEN (The Filthy Six?) consumed all the tequila at Carlo's and Charlies in addition to Senor Frog's entire liquor supply for 2008. Chris bought TommyB a lovely souvenir burgundy and gold (very tasteful) sombrero but TommyB threw a blue butt monkey fit and refused to wear his hat. Well...his loss. Sid now has the hat, LOVES to wear it and none of us have the heart to him he looks like Topo Gigo from the old Ed Sullivan Show. The local police department were kind enough to return our group to the ship and I don't want to name names but let's just leave it at not ALL of us are welcome back in Cozumel. Apparently The Filthy Six met up with Elvis at Senor Frog's and brought him back to join our group. What a night! Elvis did a Sunset Performance from the top deck and the entire ship screamed, yelled and applauded. The only negative comment that I heard were a few of the older ladies requested Elvis to remove his truss. Oh well, you can't please everybody.

Grand Cayman

7 Mile Beach...wow, what a beautiful place. It's hard to believe the deep blue, rich color of the water is even more intense than the postcard pictures. The water is crystal clear and I thought I was looking down into about 3 feet of water and found out instead of 3 feet it was 30 feet. Amazing, all the beautiful fish, white sand and turquoise water. Grand Cayman is a banking and shopping mecca but unfortunately most of the shopping was waaaay out of my budget. John and Jen took the submarine excursion, Mark and Donna shopped, Doug, Chris, Brian and Megan went to 7 Mile Beach where Doug made an interesting discovery. It appears to be a skull ...hmm, anybody have Nancy Grace's phone number? Chris plans to use the skull to hold paper clips and rubber bands until she hears from Nancy. Debi, Sid, TommyB and I toured the downtown area and went back to the little waterfront bar TommyB and I found last year. Anytime someone mentions a perfect day I know this afternoon will be one of the first memories that comes to mind.