Whaaat? You got a D in dodgeball???

OK, one of the granddaughters received (and according to her Mom, earned) a D in dodgeball. Of course I will never ever tell you which granddaughter committed this heinous crime (it wasn't the youngest one) in a million years. In aforementioned granddaughters defense she did earn A's in English, Science, Math, History and Spanish. Even though I found this whole D in dodgeball thang pretty darn funny you have to know I have been forbidden to laugh or even snicker (and it wasn't the one who takes riding lessons) when I am in her presence. Want to hear something else funny? Granddaughters mother is a coach. No, her mother is not the one who gave her the D but her mother is the one who would like to pinch granddaughters little head right off her shoulders. I don't want to say granddaughters life is going to be a little tough (it wasn't the oldest one either) over this next quarter but rumor has it there will be mandatory dodgeball practice every evening. OH...I forgot to mention that Coach Mom decided they will be using bowling balls for practice, just as an extra incentive to move our feet on the court.

We should have seen it coming.

Poor Cameron, almost seven years ago the entire family was looking forward to his arrival, well almost everybody. Avery (insert spooky music here) his 2 yr old sister was blissfully happy being an only child and really did not see the need for a baby brother. When Cameron made his appearance Avery did the obligatory kiss the new baby on the cheek photos but you could tell her heart just wasn't in this whole share the spotlight thang. Our suspicions were confirmed a few weeks later when Cameron was laying on the floor next to Eddie while she was folding clothes. Eddie looked up just in time to see Avery heading towards Cameron with an uplifted wooden spoon. Now we don't know for sure she was going to pummel her new baby brother with the spoon. In fact she may have been on her way to the kitchen to stir up a batch of chocolate chip cookies. Then there was the time Eddie was emptying the dishwasher and when she turned around to check on Cameron he had a dirty face, like he had been eating an Oreo. However, there wasn't an Oreo in the house and after investigating a little further Eddie found a spoon next to a potted plant, a pile of soil and a suspiciously dirty older sister. Yes, his big sister had fed him dirt from the potted plants. As they became older Cameron learned to hold his own and Avery learned having a brother is not all bad. Now they are actually friends...sometimes. This brings us to Cameron's latest injury. Avery had a pair of very heavy binoculars around her neck and as Cameron stood up, she leaned over and bonked Cameron right square in the forehead resulting in lots of tears (Avery and Cameron) a pool of blood (Cameron) and a trip to the ER. Cameron, we are sorry, we should have seen it coming.

When my time comes...

just take me down to the pier or put me in a leaky canoe pointed towards Cuba. I swear every old crotchety person in NC and SC has crossed my path this past week and some of them I had the pleasure of dealing with twice. I'm pretty sure I'm not a miserable person to be around now and I feel certain that if I start leaning that way Polly and Eddie will smack me. Hard. Probably more than once. This is the height of family reunion planning and site visits so my days have been back to back appointments which is great except I am running out of ways to show excitement when fried chicken is mentioned. I would like to meet the genius who made it mandatory to serve fried chicken at every southern family function. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE fried chicken but during the summer months we host so many family reunions that there isn't a live chicken within 50 miles of Myrtle Beach and honey that's a buttload of chicken. I met with two couples in their 80's this week who were planning their families 100th reunion and they were absolutely delightful. Two sisters married two brothers and they had lived within one mile of each other their entire lives. I seriously doubt if they had more than two nickels to rub together but I have never met four more pleasant or content people. That's who I want to be when I'm their age and yes, they chose fried chicken but for some reason I didn't mind one little bit.

The ever elusive blue footed booby bird.

I am very fortunate to have a group of friends who love to travel as much as I do and every January we go someplace tropical together. Sometimes we go on a cruise or rent a house but this year we decided to try an all inclusive resort in Jamaica. It was 15 degrees when we flew out of Charlotte, NC but when we landed in Montego Bay it was over 80 wonderful degrees. We were all wearing jackets and sweatshirts so by the time we got to baggage claim clothes were coming off and we were beginning to look like we were headed to a nudist convention. Gotta tell ya, it wasn't pretty. This was our first time to stay at Riu's and while we plan to go back I have a sneaking suspicion they have our pictures posted in the lobby with big red X's across our faces. I always thought I just didn't care for alcohol but it turns out I'm just cheap. When alcohol is included in the price I can flat out knock them back with the best of them and I ALMOST kept up with TommyB. I would like to take this time to apologize to all the Montegobayites as I do believe I depleted the entire island of Jamaican Rum Creame. Chris, Doug, TommyB and I were lounging by the pool (sipping cocktails..duh) and enjoying the sun when TommyB sat up and yelled, "LOOK...there is a blue footed booby bird!" Chris and I opened one eye and said, "Yeah right." TommyB is famous for making things up and we weren't falling for this one. He insisted he had seen a blue footed booby bird and we continued to ignore him. Finally Chris and I decided to call his bluff and I sent an email to our friend (and IT specialist) Karl to please google blue footed booby bird and send us a picture of this mythical creature fully expecting to prove TommyB wrong. Well, the picture is above and yes TommyB, you are right.... there really is a blue footed booby bird. Wow, it hardly hurt at all to say TommyB was right but it did taste like a mouth full of vinegar.

Me and plastic surgery...not so much.

About the same time I received my AARP card bookoo years ago I also started receiving invitations to plastic surgery seminars. For the first few years I gave them a glance and pitched them in the trash. However, this past year they have started to hold my interest...especially the ones that include a nice lunch or dinner. My friend Rebecca and I received another invitation this week that included lunch at an especially nice restaurant that we have been wanting to try so we decided what the heck, we are curious AND hungry so let's see what they have to say. Somewhere along lifes pathway Rebecca has developed a turkey neck and not only are my eyes sliding off my face but I have grown bat wings. You know...bat wings? That is what slaps you in the face when you are brushing your teeth. Rebecca and I arrived early and sat in the parking lot to survey the other attendees just to make sure we weren't the oldest saggiest people. Well honey, after about five minutes of people watching we were starting to feel like Cindy Crawford and Christie Brinkley in their heyday. Boy howdy, there was a whole lotta loose skin heading towards that meeting room. We registered and choose our seats carefully. Close enough to see but far enough away that we could still make fun of people without causing too much of a scene. It didn't take long for the entertainment to start. This sweet lady who appeared to be about 93 sat next to me and we all introduced ourselves. After chatting for awhile she announced that she is 64 which made me want to whip out my mirror as that old crone is only four years older than me! She also told us that she had just paid $4,000 for a non-surgical face lift and Rebecca and I were speechless. I know, hard to believe. My hand to God that woman's face looked like a piece of crumpled paper. Rebecca recovered first and asked her what type of procedure she had done and she told us it involved a peel, moisturizers and heat. Unfortunately I recovered my sense of speech at that time and before my good manners could kick in I said, "Well, how about next time I slather you with Vicks, throw a heating pad on your face and I'll only charge you $2,000." It was right about then that Rebecca's foot connected with my shin. It hurt too. We had a lovely lunch met several very interesting people and I came to the conclusion that until they come up with a way to put a knob on the back of my head that I can turn to tighten everything up I am content with my well earned wrinkles and bat wings.

Bacardi Rum Cake, or as Avery calls it...

"Grandma! Why does your cake burn my mouth!" No, I am not in the habit of giving alcohol to children and when I make a rum cake I have a regular cake or cookies on hand for the kids. However, this was Christmas Day when the kitchen was full of people and Avery happened to get the wrong cake...but boy howdy, she sure took a good nap! Oh I'm kidding but it is a good idea. This is the original Bacardi Rum Cake recipe that I have been making since the 70's and I think it's the most moist cake I've ever eaten. It ships well and is even better the second or third day if you are lucky enough to have any left over. Enjoy!

BACARDI RUM CAKE WITH A BUTTER RUM GLAZE
1 Cup Chopped Pecans
1 Box Cake Mix-18 1/2 oz (Yellow or Butter Pecan)
1 Box Instant Pudding-4 oz (Vanilla or Butterscotch)
4 Eggs
1/2 Cup Cold Milk
1/2 Cup Water
1/2 Cup Bacardi Dark Rum

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees. Spray a 12 cup Bundt pan liberally with Pam. Sprinkle nuts on the bottom of the pan. Combine all cake ingredients and mix on high for two minutes. Pour into prepared pan and bake for one hour.

GLAZE
1/2 Cup Butter
1/4 Cup Water
1 Cup Sugar
1/2 Cup Bacardi Dark Rum

Melt butter in saucepan. Stir in water and sugar. Boil for five minutes stirring constantly. Remove from heat and stir in rum. The rum will steam so be careful!
Pierce the hot cake (still in the pan) with a wooden skewer and slowly pour glaze over cake. Allow cake to cool in pan to absorb the glaze. After cake has cooled invert pan onto cake plate and prepare to receive many compliments.

We lost a member of the family.

Oh, we knew the day was coming because no matter how much we wish it wasn't true... ponies do not live forever. Well, our heads know they don't live forever but our hearts counted on a different outcome. Cocoa was twenty-seven when he joined our family twelve years ago and we couldn't have asked for a sweeter or more patient pony. Tory was all of three years old the first time she and Cocoa met and it wasn't long before they were quite the couple. If you have spent any time around ponies you already know 99.9% of them are mean as a snake but Cocoa apparently didn't know he was supposed to be disagreeable. Katy was next in line for Cocoa and while I don't know this for a fact I am willing to bet Cocoa was very pleased when Miss Kate advanced to a horse. We love Kate but she has one speed and it's wide open. Poor ole Cocoa was more of a moseyier than a trotter and Kate wants no part of mosey. Picture Danika Kirkpatrick on horseback and that's our Kate. Then we have Sarah Elizabeth...the jumper. Coco's legs were not exactly long but Sarah was determined to make Coco a jumper and jump he did. OK, it was only the dry stream bed in the pasture but bless Cocoa's heart he gave it his all and made one little girl very proud when he managed to clear that ditch. Sarah is six years older than Matthew so Cocoa had a well deserved break before he was back in the riding business with one determined little boy who still has no idea he isn't just as big as his older sisters. Matthew is six and not quite ready for a horse but it was becoming obvious over the past few months that Cocoa was feeling his age. Instead of working to keep Cocoa's weight down it became a battle to keep his weight from dropping. Cocoa's feet started to bother him and the farrier suggested orthopedic shoes. They helped but you could tell they didn't solve the problem. Polly said as much as those shoes cost they should have been Manolo Blahnik strappy sandals but I think they were just regular old horse shoes with extra support. This fall Cocoa's weight continued to drop and Polly put him in a pen by himself so he wouldn't have to compete for his food but even that didn't help and Cocoa continued to go downhill. On a cold, windy Sunday morning Polly went out to check on Cocoa before they left for church. He ate a small amount of grain from her hand but it was obvious he was in pain and exhausted. Polly went inside to tell Tony it was time and please ask the vet to come out in the morning. After church Polly, Tony and all four kids bundled up to go back out to the barn and say their goodbyes to Cocoa but it was too late. Like all true gentlemen Cocoa knew when it was time to make his exit and he had passed away peacefully shortly after Polly's early morning visit. Polly was so thankful she had taken the time to scratch Cocoa's ears and feed him his favorite treat that one last time. Cocoa is buried at the ranch which is just as it should be because he is family and families should be together.