Clowns

I have never understood why people think clowns are funny. Clowns are sneaky, loud, pushy and make unfortunate wardrobe choices. Even as a child, clowns gave me the heebie jeebies. I was about 5 years old when my parents took me to the circus for the first time and we had front row seats. I'm sure they thought front row seats would be any childs dream...oh yeah, some dream. All evening loud men wearing scary makeup were hitting each other with huge rubber hammers, throwing buckets of confetti and teasing the monkeys...inches from my face. OK, when they pulled the fat clowns pants down and he was wearing ruffled polka dot underwear, now that was funny. Hmmm, do you think that is when I discovered my love of anything polka dot? NOOOOO! That revelation is scarier than that Stephen King clown who lived in the storm sewer!

My toenail is gone.

I left it at work under the big heavy door leading to the service yard and I also said a very bad word. Loudly. Twice. So, that leaves me with 7 toenails...oh I have a total of ten toes with five on each foot but only four of the five have a nail. My little toes are strictly ornamental and look a bit like gnome hats. When I polish my toenails I always put a dab of color on my little toes where the nail should be but it's a token gesture. Speaking of toes reminds me of one of my worst faux paus. There are so many to choose from I don't know if I could ever narrow it down to THE WORST but this incident is a definite finalist. One of my acquaintances had a baby and I bought a gift and nice card. I really didn't know this person well but we did interact daily at work so I wanted to do something to welcome the new baby. When I stopped at the hospital the new mom was sleeping so I quietly left the gift and card in her room and came home. A couple of weeks later I was having lunch with a mutual friend and asked about the new baby. "Oh she is doing just fine! Came through the surgery like a little trooper and there won't even be any scarring!" Surgery? The baby had surgery? Well yes, it seems the new baby was born with 6 fingers on each hand as well as 6 toes on each foot. I have since learned extra digits are not all that uncommon and easily corrected BUT the card I purchased was suddenly in very poor taste. It contained a lovely poem starting out with 10 little fingers and 10 little toes. Geesh....don't you think someone would have mentioned the child had 12 fingers and 12 toes??? Even my family would have found that noteworthy!

I am an old man magnet.

Ah yes....that intoxicating potpourri of denture cream, Ben Gay and Aqua Velva...must be Fall motor coach season! We had our first large motor coach group this evening and everything went very well...ya just never know. Some people come in with the attitude of "you can't MAKE me have a good time" and other folks are just happy to be out and about. This happened to be a very pleasant group and easy to work with which probably means the next group will be total butts. Speaking of butts....here is tonights funny story. I truly am an old man magnet. If there is an old man within 20 miles he will track me down. The bus driver (approximately 107 yrs old) and I were leading the group down the ramp to the banquet room. I didn't think anything about him holding my hand as we were walking because after all....I know that I am an old man magnet. However, I was NOT expecting him to pinch me on my ample behind as we turned the corner by the Anthia tank. I jumped about 3 feet into the air and turned 75 shades of red. Well, of course he thought that was just the funniest thing ever and I'm sure the other 80 people following us were equally amused. In about 5 years I will probably find this funny. Right now.....not so much.

The Elusive Ruff Grouse

Ruff Grouse ...
Oh man, I was wrong AGAIN! It's not a ruffled grouse...it's a RUFF GROUSE! Wow, who knew? These pictures are for Tom, I figured if he knows what a ruff grouse looks like he stands a better chance of bringing one home.

NOT... A Ruff Grouse

CORRECTION!

The reason I have not seen Brumer with a dead quail, a picture of a dead quail or a dead quail feather is because he's not hunting quail. He is hunting ruffled grouse! OK...I have not seen a dead ruffled (or unruffled) grouse, picture of a dead ruffled (or unruffled) grouse or a ruffled (or unruffled) grouse feather. So I guess my point is whether it be quail or ruffled grouse....there is definitely a whole lotta tree shootin' going on in Michigan during the month of October. Thank you Harry for this clarification and I'm SURE Tom will be so pleased to know that when he is being discussed I take great pride in being accurate. Pssssst....Harry, if you need anything to tease Tom about during THE GREAT TREE SHOOTING TESTOSTERONE AND POUNDING OF THE CHEST FESTIVAL, just give me a call. I'm sure all of his friends here at work can come up with a wealth of material.

OH BOY....I am so dead.

Slept in my VERY OWN bed!

What a strenuous day. I made an egg sandwich, took two naps (yes, TWO) and ALMOST sorted the mail. I started to go through the two week stack that was waiting for me on the counter and had an "Aunt June" flashback. The mail will have to wait until tomorrow evening.

I'm leaving on a jet plane..don't know when I'll be back again

Actually I would like to be back for the Bridge Festival but nooooo, that's the week Brumer goes to Michigan to shoot at trees. According to Brumer they go quail hunting but I have yet to see a dead quail, a picture of a dead quail or even a quail feather. So I have come to the conclusion there is a whole lotta tree shootin' goin' on that week in Michigan. Just because I've been away from work more this year than I've been at work HE thinks HE needs a vacation. What a whiner.
Anny and Lynn got me to the airport in record time this morning and in spite of the rain and fog, flights were on time. When I arrived in Charlotte the gate area for the Myrtle Beach departure was packed to the gills with about 75 angry people from Pittsburgh whose flight had arrived late and caused them to miss their connection. Just as I was walking up to the gate US Air asked for volunteers to take a later flight in exchange for a free round trip ticket to anyplace US Air flies. I knocked down two old ladies (much older than you, Sammy), leaped over a seeing eye dog and managed to be second in line. So instead of getting home at 2:30 PM it was 5:30 PM BUT I now have a free ticket! Heck, I'll take that deal any day of the week.
TommyB picked me up at the airport and we stopped for dinner at Angelos. Great steaks and Tom filled me in on all the mini-dramas at work from the past two weeks. Better than any TV soap opera!