Walmarts is trying to give me a stroke.

Walmarts is not a typo, I live in the South and down here it is definitely Walmarts not sure why but it's been that way since I moved down here boocoo years ago. Yes, boocoo is also a measurement of time in the South but I digress.  After watching Morty throw himself down face first in front of his food bowl and sob I figured it was probably time to restock the cat food cabinet. So I jumped in my trusty Honda and headed to Walmarts as there is nothing worse than a whiney cat. While I was there I decided to swing by the "this meat must be used by 4:15 this afternoon or you will die from a horrible disfiguring disease" meat case and see what goodies were ripe (poor choice of words) for the picking. I hit the jackpot! I love those little pork tenderized cube steaks and they had two packages marked down to less than half price. There was a meat department clerk a few feet away and I said, "Excuse me sir, if you have more of these pork cutlets in the back I would like to buy them too." He didn't acknowledge my presence but he did start walking towards the door leading to the storage area. OK, that looks promising so I followed closely behind. Just as he is opening the door another Walmarts employee stopped him, showed him a ham and they both start walking towards the meat case at the far end of the store. Well...maybe there is a customer there who needed something and we are taking a little detour. That's fine, I know I'm not the only customer in the store. Well...guess again. They pick up and put down every ham in the case at least once and I am waiting and waiting AND waiting. The three of us finally  start moving back towards the magical doors where my pork cutlets are hiding. The "Ham Man" and I are standing about three feet apart and he also never says a word to me. A few minutes later the meat clerk appears with additional packages of the pork cutlets, hands them to me and again not one word is spoken. I THANK HIM and just as I turn on my heel to leave the "Ham Man" turns and I can read his name tag. Ha! Come on, guess what his job is at Walmarts?? Yep, CUSTOMER SERVICE MANAGER! I thought my head was going to explode!! Are you kidding me?!? Yep, it's official....Walmarts is trying to give me a stroke.

Kindle Fire

Me LIKEY! In fact I think I'm in love. It's small, fits in my purse and is extremely fast...much faster than I was expecting. It is strictly wireless and I haven't had it long enough to know if I will miss the 3G but so far I am thinking the wireless is going to work fine for my needs. The 7 inch color screen is easy on my old eyes and I would be a big liar if I said the color wasn't a nice addition.  Yes, I was one of those Kindle snobs who looked down on the Nook users and insisted color was not an issue to a real book lover. Yeah, I'm going to be eating those words! The Fire weighs in at 14.6 oz which is a bit heftier (4.4 oz) than my Kindle 2 but the extra weight is negligible even to my old flabby arms. The verdict is still out for me as to whether it will replace my Kindle 2 but since I live at the beach and love to read while baking in the sun (yes, I KNOW it's not good for me but fat definitely looks better brown) I am thinking I will keep my K2 for beach and pool reading because the e-ink on the Kindles makes reading in bright sun a pleasure. There is a definite glare on the Kindle Fire screen but it is easy to adjust the brightness of the back lighting and there is also a nifty feature that allows you to change the page color to a soft beige which made reading kinder to the eyes. It would be nice if the charge lasted longer but all the other nifty features far outweigh the shorter battery life. I have watched several Netflix movies and was very pleasantly surprised that there were no hesitations and of course the clarity was amazing! I love having access to my AOL, Yahoo and RR email accounts and of course Facebook. At $199.00 the Kindle Fire is a bargin! So yes, I love love love THE KINDLE FIRE !

WAY too gullible.

I live at the beach, I have lots friends who don't, it's summer time...do I have company? What do you think? My friends who are visiting now are more like family and I will hate to see them go. They cook, do laundry, vacuum...I was wrong, they are definitely more like friends than family. Sooo...on Sunday evening we were all hungry and none of us was really in the mood to cook and it was right at dinnertime so all the restaurants were packed. Mike said, "HEY...when we drove into town we came by a great looking little Italian place that says they deliver. I'll order us a pizza." Wonderful! So Mike orders the pizza while Beth and I have a strawberry daiquiri with mooshed up fresh strawberries..yum. I asked Mike where this restaurant is located. He told me the name of the shopping center and I know right where it is but didn't remember any little Italian restaurant in there so I asked him the restaurant name. This is how he pronounced it Doughmeano's. Doughmeano's....hmmm, I drive by there a couple of times a day, how have I missed a new Italian restaurant that delivers?? Imagine my surprise when the doorbell rang 30 minutes later and I say hello to the Domino's delivery boy. Yep, I fell...headfirst.

Some things I like about living in the South...other things, not so much.

The slower pace, I like the slower pace but it would also be nice to call a repairman and not only have him asnwer the phone but also show up to fix whatever I have managed to break. Oh I don't mean he has to be on time...that is asking way too much. Heck, he doesn't even have to come on the day he says he's coming, just please knock on my door sometime before I buy a new whatever I broke.  I don't like mosquito's the size of my head but I love not having to scrape my windshield or shovel the driveway. The fresh fruit and produce are great but I would like to be able to buy Popsicles and not end up with a bag of colored water before I ever get out of the parking lot at the Piggly Wiggly. Yes, nosey britches....I DO still like Popsicles but I can only buy them approximately four months out of the year. I LOVE the Piggly Wiggly! There are lots of good grocery stores but it's just more fun to say Piggly Wiggly than it is Bi-Lo or Kroger. Piggly Wiggly also sells their very own t-shirts with cute sayings and yes nosey britches, I do own several Piggly Wiggly t-shirts. I've never seen a Piggly Wiggly anyplace other than the South..do they have them in other locations? It's hard to picture a NYC woman in stilettos and carrying a briefcase running to The Pig to pick up a case of canning jars which I have done...minus the stilettos and briefcase. Yep, I dig the pig!

Plague! Famine! Pestilence!

Actually we are all pretty healthy so plague isn't really an issue and if you could see my behind you would know famine is not imminent. Hmmmm, must be pestilence. I already told you about my two weeks in Great Falls, MT at Rodent Ranch but after talking to Eddie this afternoon I found out that she too is trying to relocate a very happy little mouse family in Charlotte, NC. Well, they were probably much happier before Eddie murdered their Uncle Albert. Did you know that if you have a mouse skittering (they all skitter and I HATE things that skitter) behind the compactor just as you happen to turn the compactor on...you will end up with a mouse pancake that begins to smell in about 24 hours? Once you figure out where the smell is coming from you then have to lay flat on your belly, ease the compactor out, use a spatula to pry Uncle Albert away from the wall and then find a pair of tongs to haul Uncle Albert to the trashcan. I am praying that you also throw the spatula and tongs in the trashcan along with Uncle Albert as I don't think I want my over easy egg flipped with Uncle Albert's spatula. You threw the spatula away..right Eddie? Eddie?

FUN Grandma

Sometimes I get to be FUN GRANDMA and that is the title I like the best. You don't want to brush your hair? No problem, you're going home tomorrow you can brush your hair when you get home. Want to stay up until Midnight and eat popcorn in bed? No problem! Grandma does that 5 nights a week anyway. Before I went to Montana I looked for something special (translation: something Mom would not buy) to take to the kids and of course I went to my trusty friend www.amazon.com . What can I say? I love Amazon! Matthew is 8 years old and still very easy to buy for...Lincoln Logs or Lego's and he is one happy boy. The girls are older now and more challenging to find something they like that doesn't scream...OMG my grandma bought this for me and I have to wear it at least once before she goes home. Soooo....I found an OPI nail polish that was new to me (not exactly a tough assignment) did the magic One Click shopping and hopped on the plane. Well honey, I am THE most popular grandma EVER! This polish is so much fun to use and I think I will have to get some for myself. Ok, here's what you do...polish your nails with your regular polish, let it dry and here is the fun part. After the polish is dry put on a thin layer of the crackle polish and prepare to be amazed. I LOVE this product! We spent a lot of time polishing fingers, toes and trying to figure out how to fold towels with wet nails. Not easy but it can be done. Shhhh...don't tell Avery but grandma got her some too.

It's TOURON TIME!

For those of you who do not live in a resort area (which is anyone with an ounce of common sense) you may not be familiar with the term...touron. A touron is a moron who happens to be vacation. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE tourists....we need tourists to keep our economy going, they are fun and yes, they are the source of my paycheck. NOBODY needs a touron. Tourons are the ones who suddenly decide that they absolutely positively MUST stop at THIS Eagles  which happens to be on the other side of the street and across four lanes of traffic. For those of you who are not familiar with Eagles, they are a beachwear store and can be found approximately every 50 feet in Myrtle Beach. A touron will ask you, "What time is the 11 o'clock dive show?" Tourons want to know what time the beach closes. OH...love this one, "How far above sea level are we?" Uhhhh.....we were standing in the ocean when she asked me that question. A very pleasant couple sat their beach chairs not too far from mine one Sunday afternoon and when they discovered I was a local the husband asked me how long we had been in a drought. I told him it had been several months since we had any measurable rain but we were supposed to have rain for the next two days. His reply was that was good news because they weren't leaving until the weekend and maybe the water level would be back up before they went home. I didn't have the heart to tell him it was low tide.