Sunday, July 31, 2011


For those of you who do not live in a resort area (which is anyone with an ounce of common sense) you may not be familiar with the term...touron. A touron is a moron who happens to be vacation. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE tourists....we need tourists to keep our economy going, they are fun and yes, they are the source of my paycheck. NOBODY needs a touron. Tourons are the ones who suddenly decide that they absolutely positively MUST stop at THIS Eagles  which happens to be on the other side of the street and across four lanes of traffic. For those of you who are not familiar with Eagles, they are a beachwear store and can be found approximately every 50 feet in Myrtle Beach. A touron will ask you, "What time is the 11 o'clock dive show?" Tourons want to know what time the beach closes. this one, "How far above sea level are we?" Uhhhh.....we were standing in the ocean when she asked me that question. A very pleasant couple sat their beach chairs not too far from mine one Sunday afternoon and when they discovered I was a local the husband asked me how long we had been in a drought. I told him it had been several months since we had any measurable rain but we were supposed to have rain for the next two days. His reply was that was good news because they weren't leaving until the weekend and maybe the water level would be back up before they went home. I didn't have the heart to tell him it was low tide.