The Company Christmas Party...or how to end your career in less than three hours.

It's always fun to spend an evening with a group of folks who plan meetings and parties for a living as it never takes very long for the horror stories to start rolling. First of all you need to know that only one of these stories happened where I work and I'm not going to tell you which one because....well, because I have no desire to move.

The president of the company was trying to be cost conscious and eliminated the hors d' oeuvres during cocktails. Not necessarily a bad thing since they only had 30 minutes of open bar before they were having a lovely four course dinner. However, it became a problem when one of their VP's was held up at the airport and they decided to extend cocktails until the VP arrived. About halfway through the second hour of cocktails with no food the very drunk wife of the company president threw up in the punch bowl.

You would think it's usually the young inexperienced folks who find themselves in trouble at company parties but that is sooo not true. This company arranged for valet parking, a coat check room, a piano bar during cocktails and a six piece band with two vocalists for dancing after dinner. The age 60+ wife of one of the board of directors decided she didn't like what the band was playing and instead of requesting a different selection she took a swing at the sax player, split his lip and started a minor brawl ending with her screaming and swearing at her husband and the band walking out three hours early.

This group had a very formal evening planned with a harpist playing in the background and an amazing menu with several different wines for each course. About halfway through the marathon dinner one of the wives became very intoxicated, passed out face first into her plate and somehow managed to set her hairpiece on fire with the candle in the centerpiece.

My friends these stories are my Christmas gift to you. No matter what you do at your company party there is an excellent chance it won't be as embarassing as throwing up in the punch bowl, starting a brawl or my personal favorite...setting yourself on fire.